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    Welcome to my Manhole...

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    Smakx
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    Join date : 2012-09-13
    Location : Straight outta Iowa

    Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  Smakx on Sun Sep 16, 2012 10:53 pm

    Welcome to my Manhole
    We've got fun and games
    We got everything you want crusty, we know the names
    We are the people that can find whatever you may need
    If you got the money crusty Smakx's got your disease


    I think that pretty much sums it up...

    I still remember when Gun's N' Roses stole those words from me in 1987. Like many of my greatest ideas, someone else comes out with it before I think of it. Anyways, I will try to check here occasionally to help you with your problems. You bring the issues, I'll bring the tissues.

    One of this thread's other multitude of purposes is to give people a place to heap praise upon Smakx. I know a lot of you have been meaning to do so and have not had the time or place to do it, well here you go, is there nothing that I won't do for you people?

    This thread will also be a place for me to brainstorm my ideas and bounce them off of my adoring public. Criticism is sometimes vital to seeing a great idea reach its full potential. If you think you see a problem or way to improve one of my ideas, theories, inventions, or other various machinations, you may do so here in the interest of furthering the development of mankind as a species.

    Well, that's all for now. I'll try to check back as often as my grueling schedule allows. Remember, I may be Smakx, but I am still just a man...
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    oooplayer1ooo
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    Age : 36
    Location : I'm the wizard of OZ

    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  oooplayer1ooo on Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:31 am

    we can all play in smakx manhole as it is so huge !
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    Osprey101
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    Age : 51
    Location : Oregon

    Can Help Me?

    Post  Osprey101 on Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:42 pm

    Dear Mr. Smakx,
    My girlfriend complains that I can't keep an erection if she plays her Justin Bieber album as background music to our love making.
    Do you have any suggestions?

    Thank you ever so much for all the wonder help and advice you have given the world, and for the time you may take to consider my problem.
    You are an inspiration.

    Yours Truely,
    Limp in Bieber Land
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    Smakx
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  Smakx on Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:32 pm

    I understand your difficulty. This is a difficult problem to solve. It's lucky for you that you have come to the right place.

    Fortunately, the pop star in question, Justin Beiber has both the mannerisms and singing voice of a young girl. So what you need to do is find a picture of a hot young porn star, I know several names you can google if you need suggestions. Print out a high quality pic of this girl, use kinkos if you have to. Now place that pic somewhere where it is visible to you (but not your wife) while you engage in your manly duties, and simply imagine that girl singing the moronic pop song coming from your stereo.

    Pro-tip: Marksmanship is the key in any successful physical relationship, always aim for your partners side of the bed, because its no fun sleeping in a sticky mess. Bonus point for pillow shots.

    And with those words, another marriage is saved. Suck it Dr. Phil, you don't have shit on me.
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    The Monk
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  The Monk on Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:30 pm

    wait wut words did GnR steal?
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    Smakx
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  Smakx on Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:23 pm

    The Monk wrote:wait wut words did GnR steal?

    Welcome to my Manhole
    We've got fun and games
    We got everything you want crusty, we know the names
    We are the people that can find whatever you may need
    If you got the money crusty Smakx's got your disease


    They changed this to "Welcome to the Jungle", completely changed the meaning of the lyrics, for the worse I might add...

    Interesting bit of trivia: the original name of the song was actually "Welcome to my bunghole"...
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    tamoore
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  tamoore on Sat Sep 22, 2012 7:04 pm

    Your manhole stinks, but it's huge.

    clueless dick

    Surprised
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    Smakx
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  Smakx on Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:03 pm

    tamoore wrote:Your manhole stinks, but it's huge.

    clueless dick

    Surprised

    Yeah, I need to rearrange some stuff so I can get another car in here...
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    oooplayer1ooo
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  oooplayer1ooo on Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:14 am

    Dear Smakx

    I have a "buddy" who has a problem washing the cum stains off his socks that he uses to wipe off.
    creating hockey stick frissbie's he is having a hard time getting them into good enough condition to wear on his feet again.

    Any idea's?

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    Smakx
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  Smakx on Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:50 pm

    Socks are cheap so I would suggest buying new ones. Alternatively, socks are also relatively easy to shoplift. He can also excuse himself to the bathroom the next time he is at someone's house, sneak into their bedroom and steal some of their socks.

    In the future, i would suggest that your friend find something else to use, such as: the socks of another resident, the curtains, the carpet, the kitchen table cloth, a roommate's pillowcase, the inner folds of a clean folded tower, or any other cloth like object that doesn't belong to him.

    As for the hockey-stick like socks he already has, I have found an organization that will accept them as a tax deductible donation:

    snowshoesforthehomeless.org
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    The Monk
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  The Monk on Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:52 pm

    do u have skype smakx? its reefer time.
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    oooplayer1ooo
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    Re: Welcome to my Manhole...

    Post  oooplayer1ooo on Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:42 pm

    Smakx wrote:Socks are cheap so I would suggest buying new ones. Alternatively, socks are also relatively easy to shoplift. He can also excuse himself to the bathroom the next time he is at someone's house, sneak into their bedroom and steal some of their socks.

    In the future, i would suggest that your friend find something else to use, such as: the socks of another resident, the curtains, the carpet, the kitchen table cloth, a roommate's pillowcase, the inner folds of a clean folded tower, or any other cloth like object that doesn't belong to him.

    As for the hockey-stick like socks he already has, I have found an organization that will accept them as a tax deductible donation:

    snowshoesforthehomeless.org

    sounds like alot of effort, fuck that i , um i mean "he" can just wear no socks from now on

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